image via here.
don't be surprised if things start to shake up once you start on a healing journey.
you may be getting better, but sometimes it may look worse.
things get loosen and float to the surface.
and you have to look them in the eye.
and release them.
lovingly.
but, it can feel scary.
or messy.
i think the best way to think about it is clearing out clutter.
imagine going through all your boxes in your storage room.
for a little while everything is pulled out.
and it looks messier than when you began as you sort through it.
and it takes some time.
that's okay.
because you will love to come in that room in the end--
when it is filled only with things that you love and serve you.
this last week has been a bit of a shake up emotionally for me.
i set my intention and prayers are releasing the anger.
and some of the roots of it are coming up.
and also a few, ahem, opportunities, so use a "whisper" voice (thanks rachel coleman for letting me lean on your 2013 word).
or chances to see my voice come out in a not pretty way.
but now i'm conscious of it.
and hoping to learn how to deal with things in a new way.
how to say what i need to say.
how to discipline with love.
how to talk about hard things.
how to share, but also set boundaries.
like, before that knick knack felt pretty groovy, but now that i'm looking at it closer it really doesn't belong here anymore.
and sometimes it can be hard to see your weakness of picking out ugly things and bringing them home.
again, it's okay.
they are no longer needed.
and the thrift store has plenty of room.
p.s. this can also happen physically when you change your diet. your body is so crazy excited to see all that new goodness coming it's way it lets go of the yucky stuff it was hanging on to--because that is all it had before. but now you are flooding it with the best foods ever and the other stuff is going to high-tail it out. through any bodily system it can. . .stick with it, it might get a little worse before it gets better. but, it will get better.