olivia introduced me to this image.
at first it was in inspiration for writing.
and then i realized it was much deeper for me.
and my sould kind of sung a little with its awesomeness.
it's about this time of year when i almost automatically begin thinking of a word of the year for next year.
and i've been mulling a few words and phrases around.
and i felt that this could possibly become my "poster child" for 2014.
inspiration comes when we work daily.
inspiration.
that kind of inspiration.
when we put in our daily devotional time.
i read a phrase from a meditation book i am currently reading that meditation is like putting money in our spiritual bank.
i just returned from an amazing meditation retreat.
and i feel soul-filled.
truly filled up.
i came home last night late and left early this morning, but i did have a chance to love on all the kids before they went to bed. and i felt all filled up and able to love them in a tangible way. and it wasn't just from being away from them all day--i've done that before. but i felt filled--not just distracted or happy or rested. but filled.
because i saw a glimpse.
the teacher talked about meditation as a time to watch and wait and catch a glimpse of our true selves.
because we know we are eternal beings.
and i caught a glimpse.
of myself.
and i was completely made of light.
and it was just a glimpse during that meditation.
and that was just enough that i needed to orient myself.
and i had a deep thought as i was reflecting on it, that one of the greatest gifts my own children could have would be to receive a glimpse of who they really are.
and then another deep thought--that is exactly what heavenly father would like to give to each of us.
because other things easily fall away when we see who we really are.
the teacher also shared a time as a child when he got all turned around in his bed and when he woke up in the middle of the night he was facing the wall.
and he came to the most logical conclusion.
he had been. . .
kidnapped.
so he stole over to the window and opened up one of the slats of the blinds. and there he saw a glimpse of his own yard.
and he knew where he was.
and by that sliver of light he could see everything in his room more clearly.
and today when i came home i felt calm.
filled.
and calm.
because i saw a glimpse.
and i wasn't as caught up in all the worries that plague me, because for that glimpse i realized how unimportant they are.
but i know those would creep back, or come leaping back, crawling back, pushing their way back. .
without the daily work.
and i put i have put in almost daily work since february.
and the teacher reminded us that rarely will you have an "experience" while meditating (as my other meditation teacher had always taught). you get up every day and you do the work. the proof is not in the cool "experiences" you might have, but in how you as a person in your daily life change.
last week i had several times where i would have flipped out and i didn't. there was this cushion of time where i had a chance to react and i knew it was from meditation.
then, sadly, a few days later i totally flipped out. and tim said, "did you meditate today." my answer was not yes.
let's just say the next morning he said, "i think you should go meditate."
my teacher has shared this thought: that we need to
get up to set up to keep up.
we need to get up early (and meditate) to set up (our day and our thoughts and our intentions) to keep up (with those through the rest of the day).
i already have my word chosen for next year. . .because missing a day is never a good thing:).